Some clients walk through the door and you just kinda know. Carol was one of them.

I caught a glimpse of her and felt it immediately. I've always had a strong intuition about people — it's something I've learned to trust completely over the years. And the moment I saw Carol, I could feel the weight she was carrying, the grief, and underneath all of it, this quiet but unending desire to start again. When I looked at her eyes I couldn't quite tell if what I saw was sadness or pride. Maybe it was both. Maybe that's exactly what it looks like when someone finally decides they're ready.

Carol’s husband had passed eight years prior, after more than twenty five years of marriage. She came to me carrying a marquise shaped amethyst with two tiny diamonds set in 14k gold, and a wide array of solid gold heirlooms that had been collecting dust in her jewelry box ever since.

Before we started designing, I asked Carol how she found me. She admitted she found me on TikTok, and that when she first heard me talking about recycling gold, she was quite curious but also wondered if it might be a scam.

I loved that she told me that.

But when I responded to her DM personally, something shifted. She started to feel comfortable. She reached out to me originally back in February 2026, and from that first message I could tell this was someone who needed to feel safe before she could take the leap. And I wanted to be worthy of that trust.

What struck me most as we sat together was this: Carol wasn't just bringing me her jewelry. She was unloading. Decluttering. Setting parts of herself free. And in doing so, she was stepping fully into exactly where she is right now, not where she was, not where she thinks she should be. Right here. Right now. She wanted her gold to become a relic of this transformation. A symbol of her new beginning.

I never anticipated that my career would turn in this direction. I have carved through mountains and navigated dark caverns to get to the sunniest of peaks. Twenty years has been a wild and chaotic ride. But sitting across from someone and holding space for their story feels like the truest version of what I was meant to do.

This Work is My Why. 

Because Carol is my why. THIS WORK IS MY WHY. I've been given a chance to connect with humans on a level I never expected, and I don't take that lightly. I too have been close friends with grief. I lost my partner Kam in 2020, and my grandmother later that same year... I'm still moving through that. I probably always will be.

Grief is an insane roller coaster. And when you lose someone you see every day, someone you lived with for a decade, or like Carol, many decades, your world changes. And you have to have the perseverance and tenacity to just keep going. It's exhausting. It's overwhelming. And it's also, somehow, survivable.

And maybe that's exactly why I understand. Not just the jewelry. Not just the process. But the feeling of holding something precious that belonged to someone you loved and wondering what to do with it.

If you're wondering if letting it transform means letting go, it doesn't. If anything, it means holding on in a new way. The piece I design for Carol will be her new armor — a symbol of her determination and strength, carrying pieces of her past forward in something entirely new.

When Carol left, we embraced.

About an hour later I jumped on a call with another client, and toward the end of our conversation she said something that stopped me in my tracks. She told me: "This work really is perfect for you. You are such an incredible person."

I had to sit with that for a moment. When I hung up the phone, the tears were streaming down my face.

I am overjoyed. I am overwhelmed in the best possible way. And I am so deeply grateful for the CMD village that has rallied around this work, Aryana, Sam, and Kelsey. Four pillars. The most talented, thoughtful, precise and creative team I could have ever hoped to build. We have worked so hard together through all these years and I mean it when I say we are just at the beginning of something that feels profoundly special.

Holding the reins no longer feels scary.

This idea of reconstruction, it's still so new for me. I had no idea how challenging or how fulfilling this work would become. But here we are, carving through mountaintops together, and I am blown away by what we are building.

To Carol, and to every client who has trusted me with something precious, thank you. To my team, thank you. And to this CMD village that shows up again and again, I see you, I feel you, and I am so grateful you're here.

We are just getting started, trust me.
 

xo, Colleen

© Colleen Mauer Designs 2026. All rights reserved.