My Cross-Country Healing Journey

When I was 25, I embarked on a 6 month backpacking trip that seriously changed my life. It was the catalyst that gave me the guts to start CMD. I found a confidence in myself that made me feel like I could truly do/learn anything and become the best version of me. Here I am 20 years later, I’ve been intentionally hustling and growing ever since to build and sustain this small jewelry business. It’s been thrilling, exhausting, defeating and empowering… all in one and so much more.

In the last 5 years, I also experienced some intense trauma that continues to be one of the biggest challenges of my lifetime. I tragically lost Kamran, my beloved partner of nearly a decade. It’s been the most challenging grief I could possibly imagine navigating through...gut-wrenching and just plain heartbreaking. Losing a partner or close loved one is a journey in and of itself…and sadly the inevitable as we all navigate through this life.

Toward the later part of 2023, the grief came back (out of nowhere) and quite literally knocked me down. I struggled mentally on a personal level, and have had to put my head down and really focus on getting well… but also stay strong and keep my business afloat. It was a VERY hard and taxing 6-7 months. The biggest challenge was to be a strong leader when all I wanted to do was sleep, hide and cry. On the outside, I was holding it together but on the inside, I was crumbling.

I think it’s so important we normalize not feeling okay and having the blues sometimes….even for long chapters of our lives. It's okay to be down and out, and have periods where all we can manage is putting one foot in front of the other. I've built up my own arsenal of mental health rituals that I lean into when life feels too heavy or overwhelming. They certainly help, and are worth the time and effort. I’ve learned the importance of carving out the time to walk, think, meditate, journal, have regular therapy sessions, laugh, cry, invert (literally)…take a bath and another nap. Each of these acts have been crucial in finding my way out of the pain and darkness. I’m proud of my tenacity and ability to get back on my feet with grace and patience. Life is a journey and I continue to trust that there’s so many exciting things just around the corner.

This cross country trip was a huge part of my personal healing journey. I drove over 8000 miles with my trusty co-pilot Migs, hit 17 states and spent time thinking, processing and just being completely present. I met so many incredible people along the way and many strangers became my friends. I CONNECTED with many old friends whom I love (and miss) so much….this filled my cup so much! It was soul-filling beyond measure.

I'm back home in Asbury Park now, and I’m literally on a high after this trip. I feel like I experienced some form of a rebirth. I understand that life is full of ebbs and flows…ups and downs…laughter and heartache. I’m also freaking exhausted…I didn’t realize how much I was going to have to rest when I arrived home. Did I mention how nice it was to sleep in my bed again!?

With all the madness of the world, let’s remember to love each other. Be kind to strangers and open your heart to possibility. In the end, we all just want to feel seen, loved and included. We ALL crave connection. If you consider yourself too shy to talk to a complete stranger, try sharing a big genuine smile instead. It’s amazing just how contagious they are.

This trip has truly taught me that if you set your mind to anything and stay focused, you can cross any damn thing off that list. I feel so grateful, proud, very light and dare I say, even sparkly. Go out and travel, see the world and be kind to everyone on your path. My heart feels so full that you’re on this journey with me. Thank you for all of the unending love and support. 🙏

xo,

Colleen